Note to WordPress: Please don’t change things that aren’t broken. The minute it popped me into its new editor, I immediately clicked the “switch to Classic Editor” function. It’s not “classic,” its the one that works just fine. I don’t get why all these web services feel like they need to change things that aren’t broken. I used to use Hotmail. but then they changed so much that they became a pain in the ass. That’s why I use Yahoo mail now. Yahoo has the decency to let you decide for yourself whether you like the new way things work or not. Good thing WordPress does too or I’d be jumping ship!
So yeah, I mentioned a few days ago that I’m lagging, but just now I feel like I’m getting better. Of course, that may be a case of “spoke too soon” because I thought I was overcoming it when I got that Lovecraft book, but now I’m bored of reading altogether. Yeah, bored of an entire storytelling medium. Sucks, donnit?
Really, I mentioned last time that I hate people (basically). Yet that’s far from the whole story. Another thing that’s been eating me is just everything I do gives me a sense of “been there, done that” combined with a general pointlessness.
Just for example. RPGs. I barely play them anymore, and unlike most people it is not because of time issues–I never made the mistake of getting married or having kids. One of my friends did and I saw how he suffered for it, so I’m all like “screw that.” So for me, its work, then come home and play or whatever. No, the reason I don’t play RPGs much is because, well, they start out seeming novel or whatever, but then a few hours in I’m either starting to see retread elements, or else there’s aspects of the design that make me go “Oh for fucks sake.” It doesn’t have to be anything major, either. Just a minor irritation is usually enough.
And its not just RPGs, but lately its just about anything. Like when I play Salamander on my PSP (I own the Salamander Portable compilation) I only play until I run out of lives, not because I’m trying to get better but because I can’t get enthusiastic enough to play the game for longer than just a quick break.
I really wish I could get enthusiastic. I remember the days where I played Chrono Trigger, beat it, then played it some more to find all the endings. Even Final Fantasy VI, I played it multiple times just to see how things changed if I did something slightly different. First time I played, I got the Gold Hairpin instead of saving Mog, and it didn’t fully sink in until much later that Mog died for good if you did that… I went through the game anyway. Nowadays though, doing something like that would be either a “reset and load” or “turn the game off” moment. Apparently, my tolerance has sunk. And that bothers me.
I’ve tried to do “re-training,” to get back into the old mode, where I force myself to just go with it and keep playing (or reading) but… it has mixed results. Sometimes it irritates me, and sometimes it really does overcome the barrier. Of course that’s not always the right course of action–if I “keep playing” a 2D shooter for example then it amounts to basically continue-spamming through the game, which means I’m not really getting better, and in my mindset, once I’ve seen the ending, I’m done (except for Xexex, where I forced through the US version basically because I wanted to know what the storyline is and see the mystery of the Flint revealed, but then the Japanese version on Salamander Portable is the one I actually play for realzie).
I actually have a theory about why this is. Well, two theories. One is “the internet” theory where ya know, online culture made everyone into instant-gratification. Then again tho the guy who runs the 1cc blog still does it despite being online, and I still sometimes get massive inspiration, so I doubt it.
My own theory tho, is based on the fact that I collect so many games, and a lot of older games are easy and cheap to get now. I wonder if basically, when a person has 100 games in their library which they never played (or only gave a cursory glance at), it makes them feel “bad” for giving a lot of time to just one or two titles? I noticed something similar back when I used to collect a lot of sci-fi and fantasy novels, I always wanted to get through them fast in order to get through them all… and then when I started parting with them, I found the remaining ones became much easier to read because now I had less choices.
I’m not willing to start selling games, cartoons, or anime though, because I’ve noticed a problem… I invariably always want them back. And the games I know I won’t miss are always the games nobody wants (tends to be PC games especially). So thinning out my collection isn’t really an option unless I’m willing to suffer grief in the future. I’m STILL kicking myself for selling M.U.S.H.A back in the day. I so want that game back… and now its crazy ‘spensive (I got my complete copy for only $10 and sold it for $50, believe it or not).
Anyway, one thing I found interesting.
I was on GOG.com recently and I saw this, after having previously seen this in an LGR review about the 3D Realms Anthology. I was like, “Wait a minute. That looks like Epic Pinball, but there’s a Duke Nukem table… WHAT GAME IS THAT? I MUST KNOW!” And now I own it. And yes, it is pretty fun… although exiting the table always causes the program to crash for some reason. I don’t know what the deal is, but since I was trying to quit anyway, crashing at that moment doesn’t really matter.
I was also trying to put together a ramble-on-video about superhero comics, but a mix of being only half-interested and FUCKING CATS WON’T LEAVE ME ALONE has caused me to put that on hold, if not abandon it.