Why I Lag

Most long-time readers will notice that I don’t update on a regular basis, and lately ramble-muffins like this one have become more common than my original game review-esque posts which were my whole purpose in the first place. Well, let me be honest.

I hate my home, I hate where I live and I hate the people around me.

Unfortunately, for all of you saying “Well, move,” its actually not that easy. To move you need money, and I’m not exactly rich. My friend Geo aka WrathOfSeven was helping me out but he’s got problems of his own. I can’t go into a whole lot of detail, but I will say that his experiences have forever soured me on wanting to find romance.

Anyway.

The thing about the people around me is they’re all idiots, seriously. Worse than that they’re the ignorant types who… well, let me put it this way: I mentioned I was watching Marble Hornets to one of them, and she asked what its about. So I told her and when I got to mentioning Slenderman, she said “Oh, no, don’t watch that. You’ll start killing people, just like those girls did!” -__- This same person also bought into the “D&D is satanic” thing back in the 1980s, by the way.

See that’s what I hate about my area. I’m the one enlightened person in a pool of nimrods straight out of the 1960s. What’s worse is, I’m also the only one who is productive. I keep my apartment clean. They constantly complain about how dirty theirs is, but they never lift a finger to do anything about it. What makes matters worse is they like to criticize–if I have even one piece of paper on the floor for whatever reason, suddenly I’m a slob (even if the paper is there on purpose–like, say, because its a pad for a kitten who isn’t litterpan-trained yet).

As a matter of fact, “It’s bad when Edmond does it” seems to be a theme I’m running into.

With internet forums, for example. There was a case recently where I mentioned in passing that I found Ninja Gaiden on NES rather unfair. This immediately led to two fanboys of it popping in to say its absolutely perfect and has no flaws and I was just “mad” because I couldn’t beat it. I wasn’t even particularly critical until they opened their big mouths. The irony? Just recently these exact same people bitched about the difficulty of the first-person shooter Blood, going so far as to claim that the crawling hand enemies instantly killed you if they grabbed you (they don’t) or else that there’s no way to get them off once they latch on (there is, and its pathetically easy–just keep mashing the use key). So the same guys who got onto me for being a “scrub” turn out to be scrubs themselves. In fact I’ve often noticed that internet geeks project their own flaws into others.

At least the internet stuff is completely optional though–once I turn off the laptop I no longer care about it. The real life stuff isn’t so easy. Seems like its just the minute I’m getting into a groove is the moment where someone decides they have to bug me, and I’m just like “go the fuck away.” Unfortunately its always people who are in a position where they could make trouble for me so I have to be more tactful. It’s times like that when I can really understand Robert E. Howard’s Conan the Barbarian stories and why they appeal to so many people.

So okay, people in life suck, and people on the internet suck.

That makes it hard to really give a damn about writing or posting reviews or videos, really. I mean only one person I know in real life would even see the point of it, and the kind of people who would pay attention online are mostly the kind of people I don’t want to associate with.

This is the part where people would say “Well, do it for yourself!” but the problem there is, if there’s not an audience, I don’t particularly feel the need to produce. I mean yeah I could do a review of how great Might and Magic is… but that’s time spent that I could instead be putting towards actually playing the game.

Tho to be honest, part of the problem here is just… things got boring. Like, lately I don’t care much about playing games or reading books or doing anything. I’ve had a general “what’s the point?” funk for some time now, coupled with finding said things either too boring or too irritating. It’s not like when I was a kid, and could play these for hours on end. Reviewing them actually kinda makes it worse because then it feels like it’s become work, and turning it into work is the surest way to ruin things.

Sigh.

That all being said, this is not an “exit speech,” I’m not leaving the building, and the blog is not over. Cuz the fact is, every once in awhile I feel the urge to do it anyway, even disregarding all I just said. When lightning strikes, you have to get shocked.

I’m just saying that lately the lightning hasn’t been striking.

I’m thinking of making up for this by posting another classic childhood movie on Youtube, and also uploading Anime Aladdin to Zippcast. So many people have asked me to send them the full movie, and I’ve been unable to because of how my ISP works, but at least Zippcast offers a reasonable solution.

Anyway, that’s my ramble for the day. Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest I’ll likely get back to fun stuff. See ya soon, maybe.

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One thought on “Why I Lag

  1. I sympathize with your rambling Dantes, simply because I think I was in that place at a certain moment in my life. It’s tough to rationalize things when everything around you seems to exist just to bring you down.
    I can’t really offer any useful advice on the lack of focus and enthusiasm even for the hobbies we use (or used) to like the most. I could say try new things, start a new endeavor (the more different the better), take a retreat trip to a nearby place just for the sake of it, look out for charity work – but then again, these might not actually mean anything to you.
    So just go with it and persevere, I believe there’s always a high after a low. 🙂

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